You don't know, man!

I feel everyone should work for at least several months in a service position. It certainly gives you a good perspective on life.

In my time between college and my first steady job as a filmmaker, I have so far worked at two movie theaters. First, was that one place I mentioned before that had the one-drink-minimum, and I consider that training for having a difficult client, as my boss was constantly drunk and, inevitably, hard to work with on anything.

Presently, I'm at the theater that puts Job A to shame, since it has a real restaurant menu and full bar. Here, I work as a manager and a bartender. Bartending is great here, because it's just a service bar and I don't deal with customers directly. Managing is a different story, since I'm the first person that a difficult customer wants to see, usually because they think I will comp their tab if they cause enough of a stink.

And its been my time as a manager that has opened my eyes to this fact: The customer is NOT always right. Usually, he's just an asshole.

Case in point: I had a pair of customers demand to see me after a film. The first thing they said was "We want to explain why I didn't leave a tip."

For those of you unaware why this is a terrible thing to do, let me enlighten you.

First off, not leaving a tip is a mean thing to do. Servers only make $2.00/hour in salary, and most of that goes to taxes on the tips they earn, leaving them entirely dependent on the mere handful of coins you WERE going to leave for them as you left. And depending on the establishment, the server may have to tip out the bartender or food runner, meaning they LOSE money when you don't tip. It's an unfortunate reality of the restaurant business that business owners have become accustomed to tips coming by default that they realize they can save money by reducing the hourly rate of their servers while keeping their food affordable. I wish it wasn't the case, but there it is.

Now, not leaving a tip is one thing. Usually we just call you a jerk after you leave and go about the rest of our day having already vented our frustration, and by the time you come back we will have forgotten about it.

However, going to the manager and saying "This is why I didn't leave a tip," that's what elevates you to "Asshole Status."  You're just rubbing your rudeness in our faces at that point.

Lesson of the day: Don't be an asshole.

Then how did you get here?

I work in a movie theater that has a liquor license. To all you suburbanites that have only ever been to one of the major chains, this is a strange concept, I know. The thing about liquor licenses in the proud Commonwealth of Virginia is that they're hard to acquire and even harder to get back once it's been revoked.

As such, my bosses are very protective of their ABC license, and the policy is that everyone coming in must show an ID. There are, of course, cases when we could let it slide now and then. 85-year old grandmothers, for instance, or if they're with a parent. But when it's someone who looks like they could be underage and doesn't have their ID, my policy is that they're not getting in at all. Even if someone's obviously of drinking age, I stress that they will not be consuming alcohol while they're here, and then tell their server that they can't get booze.

But what baffles me is that anyone would come to an establishment that serves alcohol without an ID. I try to give them a chance, by asking if they can run and get it, but they'll usually even harder to get in. My favorite is when they tell me "Um, I came from Maryland..."

Really? You crossed the state line without identification? Are you an idiot? Did you think I would break the state law to let you in? Or maybe you think I have access to some huge government database and all I need is your name and address? SURPRISE!! I have no such access and you're not special! Now go home, because you're not getting in here!

Idiots.